when wendy grew up

When ever anybody has asked for my age and I disclose it, I can't help but want to heave (which, let's face it, would not be the best of introductions.)
Hearing it, a statement ... a proclamation ... is always a bit of a shock, like being thumped or slapped.
I may aswell be 50.
It' s as if adult-hood has slowly crept up on me (the little sneak) as if I still haven't come to terms with the whole concept, or rather it still has not come to terms with me.
Everyone around me seems to fill their adult shoes quite comfortably, have adapted reasonably well, where as I've never been quite so keen to leave my childhood behind and through the years could never really understand why anyone would want to grow up.
I'm a bit of a pessimist, so maybe my concepts of adulthood are a bit distorted or a bit dark and sombre.
I know that on the brighter side adulthood brings with it freedom and independence, and possibly children ... and maybe, dare I say it ... love? But I can't help sometimes just longing to be that inquisitive, care-free, no fuss kid again, no stress other than whether 50p is enough for a pack of moon rocks or flying saucers or those chewy raspberry things, or possibly all three.
Yes ... OK, I'm 22 and still love to read George's Marvellous Medicine, am partial to the odd tonne of pick n mix (woolworths, you will be sorely missed) and am the first one on and last off any bouncy castle but I know that I'm not a kid and I know that sooner or later I'll look into the mirror and realise I've run out of years to waste wishing I was five and there'll be all those wudda shudda cuddas ...
So I've come to the conclusion that I like the things I like because I like them and that being that wee bit older doesnt mean I have to leave them behind but that there are lots of other exciting things to like and there are things to come that aren't all pin striped or faxed or wrinkled.
So I'm here, trying to make sense of it all and hoping that soon the "grown up club" or "GUC" will finally allow me full membership and that during meetings the jammy dodgers and party rings will accomodate the same plate as the garibaldis and Tesco's Finest ginger snaps.
Let's keep our fingers crossed. I bagsy the last biscuit.


Do you believe in fairies?


Ruth x

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